Morgan's Surgery

Well, this post is not the usual Warrior Princess post, but so many people have been asking me about Morgan’s surgery and some of you don’t even know why she is having the surgery. So, we’ll start with the reason that Morgan is having surgery, she has a deformity in the way her leg bones grow. Her femurs (thigh bones) grow twisted inward and her tibias (lower leg bones) grow twisted outward. The orthopedic doctors call this “miserable malalignment”. When she was about 9 she pointed out to us that her knees pointed in when she has her feet facing forward to walk, but we didn’t think too much of it since our pediatrician didn’t think there was anything to be concerned about.

Morgan has been dealing with leg pain since she was about 7, but our former pediatrician always attributed the pain to other things. A few months ago the pain began to get worse (Tylenol didn’t even help with the pain at times), and she was beginning to have pain in her ankles and hips as well as the knees. I took her to our new pediatrician who actually looked at her legs and she sent us to a pediatric orthopedic who told us what her problem is and why it is causing her pain. She is actually VERY out of alignment on her right side, which is why she is having surgery on her right leg first.

Tomorrow morning she will be having an osteotomy, which means that the surgeon will cut her femur above the knee and then re-align it so that her knee is pointing forward and then he will cut her tibia and re-align her ankle so that her foot is pointing forward. He will re-attach the bones with plates and screws. Ouch! She’s supposed to be in the hospital for 2-3 days and then she will come home. She will be in a full leg cast for 4 weeks. When they remove that cast she is supposed to get a cast on the lower leg and a brace for her knee and begin physical therapy. One therapist I spoke to told me that it is 3-4 months of physical therapy. When that leg is healed, we are planning on doing the left leg.

So, this mama is a bit anxious about the surgery. I know it is what she needs (we even got a second opinion from another orthopedic surgeon last week). She actually wants it done because she is in pain every day and it is increasing. So for clarity sake, this surgery is being done because she is in pain daily, not for cosmetic reasons. It is just so hard to think about what they are going to do to her and knowing that the surgery and recovery are going to be painful and difficult. In spite of my feelings, I do have a peace about it, but it is still hard to think about all she is going to have to go through. I know that God has prepared her and us for this. A few months ago He was laying on my heart to pray for her regarding a trial that she was going to have to go through. I know that this is for her/our good (physically, but even more spiritually and emotionally), but I still struggle to take every thought captive because I worry about complications, etc.

I am so thankful that my cousin reminded me the other day that God has known about this ever since He formed her in the womb. This is part of His plan, and in that I do have peace.

You

made all the delicate,

inner parts of my body

and knit me together

in my mother's womb.

You

saw me

before I was born.

Every day of my life

was recorded

in your book.

Every moment was laid out

before

a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13 & 16

I appreciate all of your prayers for Morgan, her surgeon, her healing, and for my anxious thoughts. I am planning on getting on here to post how the surgery went tomorrow night. So, if you are interested, check back on Saturday morning.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. My husband had a job interview today and he felt like it went really well. He will know by the end of next week. I would appreciate your prayers for that too. Thank you.

Glory Story by WP Stephanie

I am so blessed by Stephanie sharing one of her stories with us.  As I read her story, I thought of how God prepares us for the things He is going to do.  I love how He prepared Stehanie and her husband for the work He was leading them into and what a great testimony this is to their children and to the rest of us.

To God Be The Glory,
WP Stacey

Stephanie's Story

This past year and a half has been one of the most difficult times of my life. My husband and I are foster parents and for those of you that have been or are foster parents, need I say more? It has been a calling; most of our family and friends think we’re crazy, but I tell them that God has asked us to do this and how can we argue with Him?


I’m going to back up a little by letting you know that on April 8, 2008, I surprised my husband by planning to renew our wedding vows, this time with a twist. See, we had already been married THREE times; the first time, we eloped and were married by the Justice of the Peace on April 8, 1988. The second time, we were married at St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic Church with family and friends present, white dress and all, on June 1, 1991. And the third time, my husband surprised me for our 10th anniversary and took me to Las Vegas, where we renewed our vows at the Little White Wedding Chapel. For our FOURTH “wedding” on April 8, 2008, our good friend, Pastor Phil Kruis from Rincon Mountain Presbyterian Church, officiated our renewal of vows. This time, we made a Marriage Covenant, which was appropriate this time around, since we were “born again” in October 2002. We have our Marriage Covenant Certificate hanging in our family room (as a reminder) and this is what it says:

“We Believe God created marriage to be holy, to exemplify the glorious,  eternal marriage between His Son Jesus Christ and His Church.

We Believe Our marriage is sacred and a lifelong covenant.

We Believe God calls us to pursue unconditional love for each other as modeled by His promise never to leave or forsake us.

Therefore, We, the undersigned, pledge to fulfill our marriage vows and pursue oneness.

We further pledge to bring glory to God through our sacred permanent marriage and by calling others to fulfill their marriage vows.

We agree to joyfully receive each other as God’s perfect gift; to have and to hold from this day forward;

For better or for worse; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love, honor, cherish and protect one another;

Forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, so help us God.”

I give you this background because I believe that if we had not had Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage, we might not have made it through this past year and a half as one.

I cannot go into details about the two foster boys we had in our home; I can only tell you that they had been through A LOT before they came into our home. We had taken an 11 month break after the previous children we had in our home (they had been with us for 11 months). Near the end of October, 2008, we were feeling like we were finally ready to take more children into our home. We began praying that God would bring the children into our home that He wanted us to care for. The VERY NEXT DAY, we received a phone call from the Christian agency that we’re licensed through. The worker told me everything she knew about these boys. Immediately my heart went out to them, but I was terrified. My husband and I prayed about it and decided that God wanted us to take these boys into our home; we felt that over the years, He had been preparing us to take in these particular boys.

To make a VERY long story short, it was an exhausting, mentally trying, physically trying, but marriage strengthening year and a half for my husband and me. There were weak times and during those times, Satan tried to attack us. This past December, I began having panic attacks and experienced my first ever bout with depression. I would be freezing and could never get warm, I was tired all the time, I did not want to get out of bed and I didn’t want to see or talk to any of our friends. My husband was a rock for me. We had to fight SO hard for these boys; for their schooling, their mental health needs, and their rights in general, as well as spiritual warfare, as we were giving them a foundation in Christ and their biological mother was not 100% supportive of that.

We built a relationship with their biological mother, which was not easy. During the process of “reunification” of these boys with their mother, our confidence in “the system” was diminished. I made it through, with lots of prayer, but found that I came out of this whole experience different, and not in a way that I wanted to be. I became a very pessimistic person and I have never been that kind of person before. The boys are now living with their biological mom, after I have been their “mom” for a year and a half (which holds its own heartache for me).

Even though our business has not been doing well for the past 2 and a half years, God has allowed us to get away this summer. We are up in the Colorado Rocky Mountains for two months; my husband, my 16 year old son, my 7 year old son and me. I have dubbed this trip “The Roberts Family Retreat”. As our trip began two weeks ago, I began praying reverently for God to change my heart and help me to not think so negatively. I decided that I was going to begin reading 1 John (don’t ask me why) and as I when I went to open my Bible, the Lord took me to 1 Peter. I thought to myself, “Okay, Lord, if that’s where you want me to begin…” Over the next several days, here are some of the things I read that have helped me tremendously:

“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1-3

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do no fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-17

I need to trust in the Lord and rely on Him more than I have been doing. My Heavenly Father knows just what I need.

With love,
WP Stephanie

Remembering Our Adoption Story - Part III

I finally had time to finish writing our adoption story.  I love remembering this story, but this is the first time I've ever written it out.  I learned so much by writing it out.  Two ladies have sent me stories of remembering things that the Lord has done for them.  I am excited to post them on here, but I wanted to finish this story first so I didn't leave you hanging too long.  I would love to hear more stories of remembering where God has moved in your life.  Even if you decide not to have me post your story here, I highly recommend remembering and writing down the places the Lord has already met you.  This has been a powerful experience for me and I believe you will see things you haven't before if you take the time to write or type it out.

Part III

I now resume my story. It was still the same afternoon that we had been in to see our case worker and talk to the birth mom on the phone, and I was telling the Lord that if He really didn’t want us in this match, that He was going to have to shut the door. I picked up the phone and called a friend to tell my story to and get her opinion. No answer. I called three friends and nobody was home! I thought, “Well, who am I going to talk to now?” And it was as if the Lord said, “Why don’t you talk to Me about it?”

Seriously, why was I seeking human counsel instead of going to my Father?  Well, because I didn't want to do it His way.  It seemed too hard.  I was scared and sad, so I told Him so. I told Him that I didn’t want to give up this chance to be a mom, to have a baby. I also knew that He was telling me to just trust Him. Just do what I already knew I needed to do…call Marti and tell her the truth, that God had been very clear that this was not the match for us. I wanted to justify not doing it because it might hurt this birth mom. She might think that we thought there was something wrong with her or her baby and it might make her feel bad. The Lord told me that was an excuse and that He would take care of this dear lady and it wasn’t my job to figure that part out. I just needed to obey.

Trust in the LORD

with all your heart;

do not depend on

your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

This was the most difficult thing I had ever done (up to that point in my life), so before I could chicken out, I picked up the phone and called Marti and told her that, in spite of my desire to stay in this match and how badly I want to be a mom, I knew that the Lord was telling me that we were not supposed to be in this match. I cried as I told her, but the Lord is so good. She said, “I have been feeling the same way. I felt like the Lord was telling me that this was not the match for you.” I told her that I was worried for the birth mom that it was going to be hard on her that we were backing out, but Marti said that she would talk to her and felt like it would be fine. She told me that she would put our letter back in the “book” that birth parents look at to choose the adoptive couple they want to place their baby with. She said she would also call the Phoenix office and let them know to put us back in the book in their office too.

I got off the phone and just cried until I couldn’t cry any more. Then I called my husband at work and told him what I had done, and I cried some more. He was very understanding and said that he trusted that if that was what the Lord was telling me then that was our answer. Then I just lay on the floor because I just didn’t have the energy to move. A little while later the phone rang. I thought it was one of the friends that I had called earlier calling me back. But it was Marti.  It had been about an hour since I had talked to her.

“Stacey, you are not going to believe what I’m going to tell you. I called up to the Phoenix office to tell them to put your letter back in the book because you were no longer in a match, and they said that they’ve had a birth mother waiting for a whole week to see if you were going to stay in the match you were in. Apparently, they had forgotten to remove your letter from their book when you entered into this last match. A birth mom had gone through the ENTIRE book, and said that you were the family that she wanted. When she was told that you were in a match, she said she’d wait. She has been waiting for a whole week! Do you know how incredible this is?”

I was speechless! What if I hadn’t listened? Oh, Lord, I am so sorry that I was so stubborn! Then Marti told me who to call at the Phoenix office to set up a visit with this birth mom. In less than a week, we met our daugther’s birth mother and birth aunt. We all connected right away and developed a very good relationship with our daughter’s birth family. We really came to love them and are so thankful that we got to know them.

I have to tell you the clincher though…Remember in Part I when I said that we decided to open our hearts to the idea of an open adoption and we began praying for our baby’s birth mother? That was almost exactly nine months before our daughter was born! I know it may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it is huge to me. God put it on our hearts to begin praying over our baby and her birth mother almost from the moment of her conception!

I told this story to my daughter the first time when she was about four years old, and her first response was, “Mommy, I’m so glad you obeyed!” I am too!

"What is more pleasing to the LORD:

your burnt offerings and sacrifices

or your obedience

to His voice?

Obedience

is far better

than sacrifice.

Listening to Him

is much better than

offering the fat of rams.

I Samuel 15:22

Sole Deo Gloria,

WP Stacey

p.s. I continued to pray for the other birth mother after we backed out of the match. I found out later that she ended up deciding to parent instead of placing her baby for adoption.

Remembering Weapon Part II

When I sat down to write out the rest of our adoption story today I thought that was all I was going to do.  I am amazed and surprised at how powerful the weapon of REMEMBER  has just shown itself to be!  No wonder God tells us to remember!!!  I thought the power was in remembering what He has already done and the encouragement and strength that is to us.  That is exactly what it did for me when I wrote the other day.

But today, He revealed my sin in my current circumstance by allowing me to look back at the sin of my past circumstance.  I am amazed!  I pray you are blessed and challenged when you read this today.  God is so good!

Part II


Today I start in May 1996. We have been in one match (that means a birth mother had chosen us to parent her yet-to-be-born baby and we were working on establishing a relationship with her). But due to circumstances, that one hadn’t worked out and we were still waiting for a baby. We were newly in a match that was a really positive one. Our case worker was as sure as one can be, that this mom was going to place the baby and go through with the adoption plan. The baby was due in August. The birth mom lived out of state, so our relationship was going to have to develop long distance. Everything seemed great. We were finally going to get to be parents!

Our case worker was out of town on vacation for two weeks, so we didn’t really have the opportunity to work on developing a relationship with the birth mom since it would first be facilitated through our case worker via the phone. When Marti, our case worker, came back we met with her at the agency and talked about this match and to have our first conversation with the birth mom on speaker phone in Marti’s office. I asked Marti what she thought about this birth mom and her likeliness to actually place the baby with an adoptive family. I asked for two reasons; first, because we already had one match fall through and I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much (self protecting, again) and secondly, because something kept nagging at the back of my mind. What had been at the back of my mind, or more accurately, in the middle of my heart, was that I didn’t have a peace about this match and I couldn’t understand why. I kept looking at it from different angles and asking questions and praying that if this wasn’t the match we were supposed to be in, that God would show us.

Marti answered my questions and we talked about this nagging feeling I was having. I couldn’t call it what it really was. It was doubt. There was a doubt in my heart, a lack of peace, that we were supposed to be in this match. But I wanted a baby so badly that I couldn’t say that! I couldn’t turn down the possibility of getting a baby if someone was willing to place with us, even if I didn’t think it was the right match for us. How could I want a baby so much, and then say, “I don’t think this is the baby for us,”? Then I dared ask the question, “How often is the adoptive couple the party to back out of the match?” I did not expect the answer she gave. She said, “I’ve never had an adoptive couple back out of a match.” What!? Then how could I say that I don’t have a peace about this? There must be something wrong with me!  No, I'm going to ignore this thougth, His voice.  They'll all think that I'm crazy.  We're just going to keep going forward until He closes the door!

Marti asked if we wanted to go ahead with the phone call to the birth mom and my husband said that we did and I still didn’t have the guts to say that I didn’t have a peace about it. I still wanted a baby more than anything. I couldn’t say no. So, we had our first conversation on speaker phone and it was comfortable. There was NOTHING to make me think that this couldn’t work. But the Holy Spirit would not give me peace. I ignored Him. I smiled and thanked Marti and told her how we looked forward to meeting and talking with this birth mom again soon. I was NOT going to give up this dream to be a mom. I was NOT going to give up a chance to have this baby! My husband went back to work and I went home. I listened to talk radio on my drive home to keep my mind distracted. I can do this! I want this! I won’t listen to You.

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.  Isaiah 50:10-11

If I had known this verse from Isaiah then, maybe I wouldn’t have been so stubborn, but I didn’t, and I was determined to have what I wanted. I rationalized that what I wanted, to be a mother, for Kraig to be a father, to love a baby…these were noble things, good things, not sinful things. So, why did I feel like I was rebelling? Because I was. I knew the Spirit was telling me that this was not our baby. This was not the match that we were supposed to be in. But if I let go and told Marti that I knew in my heart that this was not the match for us, when would I get a baby? Would I ever? If God really didn’t want us in this match, then He could shut the door. Yes, that is what He should do. If He doesn’t want us to do this He is big enough and powerful enough to shut the door. So, You do it, God because I can’t (won’t).

I was a teacher and it was summer time, so when I got home I had no work deadlines or anything important to keep my mind occupied to keep me from thinking about this nagging feeling in my heart. “Okay, God, I’ll help You out. If You don’t want me to do this, then I’m going to call a friend and she will just tell me that she doesn’t think this is a good idea. Okay? You shut this door for me if that is what You want. I mean, I do want to obey You, so You do this. Okay?”

Hmmm…looking back I see my stubbornness, but at that moment I thought I was being so gracious to our Lord. Amazing that He loves me! Here I was telling THE Creator of the Universe what to do and how to do it. But you know what I realize right now? My God loves me. My Savior came to save me, set me free, NOT to condemn me. He should’ve struck me with a bolt of fire from Heaven right then like He did to those rebellious ones in the desert who spoke against Moses. After all, I wasn’t challenging God’s man, I was challenging God Himself!

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. 

Jeremiah 31:3

We love because

He

first loved us. 

I John 4:19

As I read my own story I am leveled with the love the Father has for me/us!  I am undone as I see the audacity of my sinful heart! 

Well, I was planning on telling you the rest of the story right now, but I can’t. I have been reminded of my rebellion and how He loves me. How He has lavished me in love when I certainly didn’t deserve it. What I am thinking right now is that I need to go reflect on what I am telling God that He needs to do in my current circumstances. It is good for us to remember, because I know how this story turns out. I know how much I wanted what I wanted, and how I justified that He should not deny me because it was a good thing. But He wanted ALL of my heart then just likes He wants all of it right now.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.”

I can see clearly now, though I honestly couldn’t at the time, that I was making motherhood, having my own baby, my god. Because He loves me, He wouldn’t give me a peace. He knew it was in my best interest to put what I wanted most on the altar and proclaim the truth that He is worthy. Could I give up what I wanted most and proclaim the truth of His worthiness? Could I say that even if He never gave me a baby, that He was enough? And can I do that with what He has before me today? Am I willing to die to self, to my “noble” ideas and desires and say that they are nothing compared to Him? I must. My heart compels me so. Even though I am weak right now, and don’t want to give up my dream, He is so great that He compels me to say, “You are enough. Your will be done. You are worthy!”

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. I will tell you what happened next time, but I ask you to pray for me that I can live what I am committing to do right now. He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

A Warrior Princess Weapon Part I

I have really been struggling with living in our current circumstances; coming out of a year of more health issues, my husband being out of work for 10 months, depleting our savings,and now my daughter facing a pretty serious surgery later this month.  It is hard not to cave in to depression and despair when we keep praying and God does not move or change anything.  I have definitely done my share of praying and crying out (and plain old crying), but the Lord is telling me to remember what He has already done.  So, the weapon I am using this week is REMEMBER.

But do not be afraid of them;

 remember well

 what the Lord

 your God did

to Pharaoh and
to all Egypt.

Deuteronomy  7:18

There are so many places that the Lord tells us to remember.  It is for our own good because so much of what we fear and worry about has not even happened yet.  And if if it does happen, we need to remember that He is ALWAYS in control.  Remembering past situations where things seemed fearful and out of control help us to see that God has already brought us through difficulties, and give us encouragement that He is still in control in our current pain.  So, what I have to share with you right now is for my own strengthening.  I choose to remember what He has already done.  It is a bit of a long story, so I'm going to post it in several parts.

About 15 years ago, God made it very clear that we were not able to have children.  I am thankful, as painful as it was, that we had a definite answer and knew that our best option was to persue building a family through  adoption, so I will spare you the struggle and pain it took us to get to that point, and begin with the place where we began the process to get certified for adoption.

When we started the adoption classes we thought, “Open adoption has worked fine for some of the couples we know, but we don’t want that.” The truth is, it was scary to think about having a relationship with the birthmother of our child. We wanted our baby to be “our baby” and we didn’t want to have to share him/her with the birth family. Plus, what if our child ended up wanting a relationship with the birth parents and liked them more than us, and the list of fears went on from there. That was self protection and fear, and God wanted to free me from them.

For God has not given us a

 spirit of fear and timidity,

but of power,

love,

and self discipline. 

II Timothy 1:7

 

The night of our first adoption class at the Christian agency where we were pursuing adoption through, our instructor addressed this issue of fear head on. She said that instead of fearing the birth family’s involvement in our lives, that we should consider that God had ordained each of our families and that this might be an opportunity to minister to our baby’s birth parents. What if we took the wind out of the enemy’s sail and turned it around as an opportunity to bless instead of self protect? What a freeing thing it was to admit that we have this fear, but trust that the Lord had everything orchestrated for His purposes and our good, and ultimately the good of our child and his/her birth family.  The only way we knew to accomplish that would be to take every fear and/or desire to the Lord.  There were a lot of them because the enemy had been heaping a lot of lies on us as we struggled through our infertility; thoughts like us not being good enough, so that's why God wouldn't allow us to get pregnant.

We demolish arguments

and every pretension

that sets itself up

against the knowledge

of God,

and we take captive

every thought

to make it obedient

to Christ.

IICorinthians 10:5

So, we left there that night in October ready and willing to face our fear, open to a relationship with our baby’s birth family, and with hearts excited and praying for our baby’s birth mother. That night in October we began to discipline our hearts and minds to think, act and pray out of power, love, and truth. We chose to take captive our fearful thoughts and replace them with the truth that God is in control, and we began to pray for our baby and his/her birth mother.

As I look back, this was a great training ground for things we were going to face later.  It had been painful going through the process of finding out that we could never have children on our own, but since we had no other option but to trust our Savior, He was already preparing me to trust Him completely even in things that I felt like I had some options to make things go my way.  He was getting me ready to trust Him in COMPLETE abandon.  I'll tell you about that next time.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

I just have to post Zac's other video.  It, too, is powerful and inspiring.  I was reading from the book Praying God's Word by Beth Moore this morning and came across this quote by Charles Spurgeon. 

I write this with all reverance: God Himself

cannot deliver a person who is not in trouble.

Therefore, it is to some advantage to be in

distress, because God can then deliver you.

Even Jesus Christ, the Healer of me, cannot

heal a person who is not sick. 

Therefore, sickness is not an adversity for us,

but rather an advantageous opportunity

for Christ to heal us.

The point is, my reader, your adversity

may prove your advantage

by offering occassion for the display

of divine grace.

So, what are you facing today?  Can you thank the Lord for it?  This can be a hard thing to do!  It is even harder to do it with a good attitude. 

Romans 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

What If You Could Write a Letter To Yourself From The Future?

This video has been on my mind for quite a while.  I know the family of this young man and have been aware of his battle with cancer for over a year.  I decided I needed to post this video because this is the same battle we are all in as we seek to do Kingdom Work.  I know Zac's message is inspriational, but I don't want to just be inspired and move on.  I want to live out what I believe!  As a Warrior Princess, as a woman who is fighting hard to know what to do with the place I am in life right now, I wonder what I would say to myself if I were ten years older and past these present circumstances.   That is not possible, but I know Someone who already is on the other side of my circumstances, and He has everything under control.  I don't want to waste anything.  I want ALL of my life to count for the Kingdom! 

So I have been asking myself, "What am I doing to make a difference?  How am I working to accomplish God's purposes for my life?"  Then I realized that the reason I haven't been on here for over a week is because I have been busy doing Kingdom Work.     

I guess most people don't think of it as Kingdom Work, but as I thought of Zac's video and have been asking the Lord how I could be serving Him in the middle of my life's circumstances I have realized that I am doing what He has called me to do.  I've been struggling over the lack of employment for my husband and trying to support and bless him and my children and keep life as positive and pleasant as I can.  I've been working on school projects with my kids, keeping the house, making meals, paying bills, scheduling appointments and figuring out insurance stuff; just regular, mundane stuff, but it's the stuff that I've been called to do. 

When I watched Zac's video again I asked myself, "Ten years from now, will I regret what I am doing today?  Would it be better if I got a job, or put off spending time on one of my children's projects so that I could make a post on the blog, or whatever might seem more important? What do You want me to do, Lord?"   Every time I ask, He points me back to the fact that supporting my husband, taking care of our home and our family, those things are His number one priority and ministry for me.  And so, I've been doing the Kingdom Work of caring for my family and doing projects and sitting still with my Savior.  I haven't posted anything for over a week, or gotten a job, or done anything else to impact the world, but He hasn't called me to do those things.   This is the work He has called me to. This is good, hard work!  This is a full life!  I am sure I will have regrets when I look back, because I am a sinful human, but at least these things won't be the things I regret.

My challenge and purpose in sharing this video and my thoughts today is to ask you,  "What do you think you would say to yourself 10 years from now when you look back on your current life circumstances?  Do you know if you are doing the Kingdom Work that He has called you to do?"  It's different for each one of us, so why don't you go to the One who knows the future and ask Him today.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey
p.s.  Zac went to be with the Lord earlier this month.  Sole Deo Gloria!

Judy's Glory Story - Stones of Remembrance

I am so pleased that a few people have sent me some glory stories.  The one I am posting today is from my sweet friend, Judy.  I have heard parts of this story at different times, but never the whole thing at once.  As I read it I was amazed at the whirlwind of blessing that this family was experiencing in such a short time period!  I love how Judy refers to remembering this story as a stone of remembrance.  I love that she remembers how God moved in their life in a mighty way when she is struggling.  That is absolutely one of the big reasons for telling our glory stories, to remind ourselves and to encourage each other, but mostly because He deserves the glory!  Thank you for sharing this with us, Judy:)

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Judy’s glory story


God picked us up in Milwaukee and dropped us off in Tucson. Matt lost his job in February 2004. I was 6 months pregnant with Maddie and Alex was 2 and a half. Our COBRA payment for medical insurance was more than our mortgage payment. Because there were not many jobs available in Milwaukee, by March Matt was staying in Phoenix looking for a job and I was in WI with Alex trying to get the house sold. After coming up empty looking for jobs, he threw his resume out on an internet site for finding jobs. Someone called him the next day from Tucson to set up a phone interview. A couple days later he had an in person interview. He was offered the job in the third week of March.

He came home on Tuesday evening and we were on our way to Tucson on Friday, not knowing a sole in our new city. We flew down with what we could carry and stayed in temporary housing, Matt started working and I started looking for a doctor to deliver our soon-to-be-born Maddie. We sold our house in Wisconsin, bought a house in Tucson, moved in on the 8th of May and had a c-section on the 14th. With the exception of jaundice, the delivery and hospital stay went well and I came home four days later with our little Madison Renee.

During this time, we had friends that: prayed for us, encouraged us, paid Matt's plane fare to Arizona to look for jobs, offered to pay our mortgage, made emergency runs to our house to find the elusive birth certificate (that's a whole other glory story), were at our house when the company packed us up, were at the house when the company shipped us, and cleaned our house. Good friends and my mom came down on moving day to help get things unpacked. I was little help since I was due to deliver the next week. My mom stayed for three weeks and did about a hundred loads of laundry, trying to set up the house and wash all the baby clothes that had been stored from Alex. God brought friends to me when I felt so alone and overwhelmed with two small children not knowing anyone. We found a church that was preaching the Word without apology. We love Tucson, a place we never would have picked if Matt hadn't lost his job and God directed us here. Matt is working in his "dream job" making twice the salary he was making in Milwaukee. Did I mention we did not pay a dime for Maddie's delivery? Not one dime.

When I am doubting and a little unclear about life, this story is like when the folks of the Old Testament set up a monument of stones so they would not forget what God had done. God provided for us through our friends, family and people we were yet to meet. He was in complete control. He was then, is now and forever will be totally glorious!

WP Judy

Refreshing

Last week I posted that I was struggling. The truth is, I was overwhelmed with life and the constant battle to be strong, etc. The Lord let me have my melt down and I felt no condemnation in it. I was just tired and needed to rest, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The spiritual resting thing seemed strange to me because aren’t we always “supposed to” be seeking hard after the Lord? Well, His grace is sufficient and He let me just rest in Him. I told Him I had nothing to give and He just poured into me through the prayers and words of friends, through songs of truth, through just resting.

Then He did some other things for me. My daughters have been taking an art class and I wasn’t going to do the next session because we don’t have the money, but He put it on friend’s heart to pay for the art class. My husband wanted to take us out for lunch on Mother’s Day, and a friend gave me a gift card to the very restaurant that we wanted to go to. On Saturday a friend gave me a very sweet “Thank you for being my friend” card and in it was a gift card for Target. On Mother’s Day we went to Macaroni Grill and had to wait an extra 40 minutes even though we had reservations, so the manager said he’d make it “worth our while” and when we got the bill he’d reduced our bill by a third!

That night we went to the Nathan Clark George concert and it was as if God was speaking right to me the whole time about how much He loves me. Afterward we talked with Nathan for a while and Kraig bought two CDs. When we were leaving Nathan followed us to the door and gave us the DVD that Franklin Springs made about their family traveling around the country in an RV. He just gave it to us and I started crying as I said thank you, because I had been wanting to see it ever since it came out last year because it is a secret desire of mine to travel around the country with our family in an RV. I never asked God for the DVD, it was such an “extra” type thing, but He knew my heart and He gave it to me through Nathan. I was so overwhelmed with blessings! Then as we were driving away, I opened the DVD and found the money that Kraig had paid him for the two CDs he had bought. Kraig and I both started crying again at what God was doing!

Remember my article about kisses from God? Well, do you ever just get overcome with your love for your children, not because of anything they’ve done, but just because you love them, and you just pick them up and smother them with kisses? That’s what it felt like God was doing to me. Trust me, I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I was just making it through each day, but it was as if He was picking me up and covering my face in kisses and saying, “I love you. I love you. I love you!” Thank You, Father! I love You too.

Proverbs 11:25b

…those who refresh others will themselves

be refreshed.

None of our circumstances have changed, but I feel refreshed for the next leg of this journey. Honestly, just being able to rest without feeling any condemnation was so good that I should say, that would have been enough. But my Father also gave me friends who prayed with me and for me poured truth and life into me like nourishment to my soul, and that would have been enough. But then He used some to pour physical blessings on me, and that was the lavishing of God on my heart after He had already filled me again with truth and strength! Thank you, each one who prayed with me and for me last week, for those who sent me an email, called or spent time with me, for those who gave tuition, gift cards, and music. May God refresh you as He has used you to refresh me!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

I Don't Need This, Or Do I?

I am so blessed that my cousin, WP Sarah, is also my friend!  We live on opposite sides of the country, but we talk at least once a week and share in each other's blessings and heartaches regularly.  Actually, I don't have any sisters, but Sarah is like a sister to me.  We can talk for an hour (if our children let us), or we can call with a 2 minute "you have got to laugh at this with me" moment.  I pray for her almost every day, and I know that if I am troubled by something all I have to do is call her and she will be praying for me.  I'm so very blessed to have Sarah, my cousin, my "sister", my friend!  Here is something she emailed after our conversation today and she gave me permission to post it.  May it change your perspective on your circumstances today and may you be richly blessed.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

I Don't Need This, Or Do I?

In my weekly phone call to my cousin today we had mostly woes to discuss. Not that either of us pursue complaining as a career, but it would have probably sounded that way to an outsider. We took turns listing our difficulties of the week. In reflection I was sad that I hadn't shared any of the blessings with her.


One of my whine moments was in explaining that after 6 months of nursing and feeding difficulties, and a nodule on my son’s tongue, his doctor was FINALLY sending us to an E.N.T. to see what his thoughts are on my baby’s issues. I commented that this was not what I needed. Just like I don't need the extra specialist I have to see right now, just like my cousin doesn't need for her daughter to be in pain, so on and so forth.

However, God reminded me of the truth. The truth is I have a son with special needs that will be 8 next month. The truth is the last 8 years of my life have been spent in joyful, agonizing, painful, blessed moments. I could say that I didn't need any of it… the struggles, the years without sleep (this is not an exaggeration as he has a severe sleep disorder, we spent years on 1-3 broken hours of sleep at night), the regression, the aggression, the list of ever changing ever growing diagnosis, the hours at doctors offices, the tears, the weeping, the "I never thought I would go through this" moments. But is that the TRUTH? No, quite frankly it isn’t. The truth is God knew exactly what I would go through, and He let me go through it. The truth is that I did need it. I needed the compassion, the patience, the depth of love, the refining. I needed all of it. Apparently, I still need more.

As I mulled over these thoughts this evening, I was reminded of Ruth in the Bible. Did she need to lose everything she had ever known and loved? Her husband, her family, her religion, and her country? To live with and serve her mother-in-law? The truth, yes. It was exactly what she needed to know and serve the Living God. Her blessings abounded and she was given a place in the lineage of Christ. WOW! I don't think she was thinking, "How incredibly blessed I am," when her husband died. Or, "What a neat adventure. I wonder what blessings lie ahead for me," as she was leaving her country to follow Naomi. Seriously, how many of us would leave our families, religion, culture, to go to a foreign land, let alone with our mother-in-law. Let me just say....ya right, let me jump right on that caravan.

Seriously, God knows exactly what I need!

Today, my special needs son wanted to sit by me at dinner, he wanted me to hug him five times. He wanted me to rub his back. He hugged me gently and told me he loved me. If you only knew how my heart weeps for moments like these. Yesterday as I sat in church on Mother's Day I thanked God for my children and shed silent tears for the separation I feel with my special little boy. Today, I was so blessed by his love. God heard me. God felt my need for those moments, for those hugs, for those statements of acceptance and need from my son. Today I felt the love of God in my little boy.

God knows my heart, and He knows what I need.

WP Sarah

Sometimes

It's been a rough week.  This Warrior Princess had to rest and reflect in the midst of the pain of her circumstances this week and was not able to do much else.  Today God has given me the ability to reflect just a little bit, but all I have to give today is a quote that Warrior Princess Vanessa shared with me this week in the midst of her own struggles.

"Sometimes God gives wisdom.  Sometimes God gives a promise.  Sometimes God simply says, 'I understand your heart.'  And that's enough." Vanessa Finsinger


The only thing I can add is a word from His Word:

Psalm 94:18-19

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"

Your love,

O LORD,

supported me.

When anxiety was great within me,

Your consolation

brought joy to my

soul.

Sole Deo Gloria,

WP Stacey

Ruth's Glory Story

In my post last week, titled "A Kiss From God,"  I put out a request for "Glory Stories" from other Warrior Princess Sisters.  Today I received a "Glory Story" from Ruth.  I hope you are as blessed by her story as I was, and that you will all give glory to God for what He did for Ruth. 

We would love to hear one of your Glory Stories too, so send them to my email, or post them as a comment.  Nothing (not even comments) gets posted until I read and post them.  All comments go directly to my email first.  So if you want me to edit your story before posting it, I will be happy to do that.  That seems to be what most of you are concerned about, your writing ability.  But what I have to say in regard to the "I don't think I'm a good writer" excuse, is that it's not about you.  It's about giving glory to God.  I think giving glory to God is the focus of most of the readers on this blog, so don't worry about your ability.  He is able to use your story to encourage others and bring glory to Himself, so share from your heart and give Him the GLORY.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey


Warrior Princess Ruth's Glory Story

After 17 years of marriage, my husband decided that he wanted out so he could pursue other relationships. We had drifted so far away from God at that point, I wasn't sure God would even remember who I was. As soon as my husband made the decision to move out, I made the decision to go back to Christ Community Church and put God first in my life. That decision brought some wonderful mentors into my life. Jennifer Beauchamp was the mentor who came along side me during my first summer separated, mentoring me and doing a relationship and boundaries Bible study with me. God definitely orchestrated that relationship and has used it to draw me closer to Him.

My big "glory" moment is really a peace and comfort moment. I need to preface this story with the fact that I am horrible, absolutely horrible, at Scripture memorization.

My soon-to-be ex-husband had scheduled our court date. Since he filed, I technically did not need to be in court, but I felt this overwhelming need be there as the gavel descended on our marriage. All day I felt sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears. I had no idea how I was going to survive as a single parent. I only worked part-time in my own bookkeeping business since I primarily took care of our children. I had no idea how I was going to juggle the added work I would need to take on in order to make ends meet. My family lives in Chicago so I had no family support system to lean on.

As the judge called him up to question him and then approve the divorce, the sadness was overwhelming. At that point I heard an audible voice say, "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you a hope and a future". It was so loud and clear that I looked to my right thinking the person sitting next to me had said it to me. He was turned away from me and speaking in Spanish to the person next to him. At that moment, I knew God had spoken words of comfort and assurance to me. I felt a peace wash over me. I still felt great sadness, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was a distinct feeling of having His arms around me. I realized that I had been abandoned by my husband, I had abandoned God, but God had NEVER abandoned me. He was waiting for me. Waiting for the moment I would feel Him like I had never felt Him before.

It's been a long journey these past 8 years. God chose to bring me healing (still ongoing) through wonderful, Christian counseling. And He chose to bring me Kevin who is a godly man who loves me, loves my boys and above all else, loves the Lord. It is so evident in his life. He's been a wonderful support and encouragement to me and to my boys.

WP Ruth

A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

WP Sarah wrote quite a different Glory Story.  I hope you are encouraged by Sarah's post today to look at whatever circumstances you are facing and see what God might really be doing in your circumstances like Sarah did today.  How amazing that our God takes such awful circumstances and answers our prayers in ways unexpected.  Sarah, thank you for sharing!  I am sure many Warrior Princesses will be praising God with you at His revelation of the wolf in your midst, and praying for a wonderful replacement.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

Sarah's Story - A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

So I have spent my day in shock, crying and trying to come to terms with what has happened. I'm assuming you've seen the news about a young mother who left her daughter and husband to run to Miami with her lover. This woman committed adultery, abandoned her daughter, and husband, and sent a community into shock as they searched for her and prayed for her safe return. So how does this affect me a committed mom devoted to my husband and children. Well, a relative of this woman was in my employment to work with my special needs son. Her aunt called me to cancel working with my son on Thursday which I graciously accepted. Friday I recieved an email from this aunt stating I could"fire her if I wanted" for not showing up. Of course considering there was a family emergency I was not going to do this. However through our communication I offended the aunt when I challenged that she was punishing my family for what her niece did.

Today this aunt showed up, to work with my son, in an emotional, angry, rant. I suggested if she were that upset she should probably leave. For the next fifteen minutes I listened to this woman verbally destroy my character, and defend this wicked niece of hers. She said I had no compassion. Now this aunt has worked for my son for over a year and a half. NEVER in that time have I even heard her raise her voice. I was in complete shock to hear her rage at me. She left my house and sent some completely opposite texts. Stating she could come pick up my son and take him to therapy and so on. It was really scary that she could flip-flop like that.  So my husband took a witness with him and spoke with her and her husband this evening. She showed up late, laughed mockingly in my husband's face when she got there, and then raged at him as well. Her husband acted like it was completely normal.

So why am I sharing this? Well, I read Stacey's blog and realized I needed to choose to rejoice. Then God reminded me that I have been praying that He would remove those that are around my husband, myself, and my family that would do us harm. Then I scrolled down through Stacey's previous blogs and read the verse about are you surprised when these things happen? Well, quite frankly, Yes, I was very surprised. Now however I realize I shouldn't have been. We open our hearts, our home, our lives to strangers on a day to day basis. These strangers are in my home nearly 100 hours per week. God removed someone who could have done harm to us. I was shocked that this person was a wolf in sheep's clothing, and I had trusted her with the well being of my family.

I choose now to praise God that we had this eye-opening experience. I choose to trust Him. I am choosing to not be afraid. I am praising God that he has protected my family. I choose to NOT listen to the enemy that stood in my home this day and taunted me to curse the Lord. I cannot wait to see what God will do.


May the truth be revealed in Glory.

May God who IS, be my ALL.

Living in Expectation of Miracles!

WP Sarah

I Choose

Isaiah 12:4-6

In that day you will say:

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on His

name;

make known among the nations what

He has done,

and proclaim that His name is exalted.

Sing to the Lord, for He has done

glorious things;

let this be known to all the world.

Shout aloud and sing for joy,

people of Zion,

for great is the Holy One of Israel

among you."

I was reading this passage today for my study on prayer. We were supposed to list the actions we are to take, so I started listing them:

• Praise the LORD
• I will trust
• I will not be afraid
• Draw from the well of salvation with JOY
• Tell others to give thanks
• Call on His name
• Make known what He has done
• Sing to the LORD Let His glorious works be known
• Shout aloud
• Sing for joy
• Proclaim that His is exalted

Well, things are kind of tough around our house right now. My husband lost his job 9 months ago. We have lived frugally, but have used up all our savings and have now cashed in my IRA from when I was a teacher. We are having to make payments on medical bills because a surgeon messed up my gallbladder surgery last year and damaged my liver. My husband started a new business in a completely new line of work (sales) and we are not making enough to cover all of our monthly expenses, so he keeps working more hours and we have little time together as a family, and almost no time as a couple. To top it all off my 13 year old dislocated her elbow and possibly fractured it playing a game at church last night. We are still covered for health care through COBRA, but our deductible is $6,500 per person in our family; which means that we will have to pay for the whole ER visit last night, and whatever expenses we incur when we see the orthopedic specialist later in the week. So, it seems ridiculous to “praise the LORD, make known what He has done, sing for joy, proclaim that He is exalted, etc.” But when I read this passage this morning, He did fill me with hope.

I CHOOSE to praise the LORD. I choose to trust Him. I am choosing not to be afraid. I choose to draw from His well of salvation WITH JOY. I choose to call on His name, to shout aloud, to sing for joy. I choose to follow Him. I choose to NOT listen to the enemy. I cannot wait to see what my God will do. I choose to rejoice today!

To HIS Glory,
WP Stacey

A Kiss From God

I have had this on my mind for that past few days but have not had the time to sit and type it out. This morning as I sit with my computer to type this out I wondered if/how I could because the events of yesterday were so painful. So, how do I begin?


Well, what has been on my heart is “Glory Stories,” as my friend, Jane, calls them. What is a “Glory Story?” Well, I’ve never asked Jane to define it, but the one’s she has told bring glory to God and show His tender love for her. The ones I have experienced are places in life where God has bent down and given me a “kiss”, just because He loves me. Sometimes my life circumstances have been overwhelming and the kiss just said, “I’m still here. I care. I love you.” Sometimes everything seems to be going along fine, and He still bends down to give me a kiss… just because. So, why do I wonder about talking about “Glory Stories” today? Because of pain.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.   I Peter 4:12-13

Yesterday I ended up spending the afternoon with a dear friend who is in the middle of a whirlwind of crisis. I grieved with her and for her yesterday. This has been on-going, and building, and it’s not over. There is a hard road ahead. Her burden is great. My heart is heavy for her. I know she reads this blog and I didn’t want to seem like, “Life is great! Count your blessing and everything will be better, or at least you can try to feel better.” I don’t want to pretend that if we “just focus on the positive, we’ll feel better.” So, sharing “Glory Stories” today is in no way an effort to have a better attitude, to cover over the real hurt that my friend is experiencing or the hurt I’m feeling for her. No, I’ve decided to go ahead and talk about “Glory Stories” today because God is good all the time; even when we don’t feel good about life. He loves us and has our best in mind whether our circumstances are comfortable or excruciating. And He always deserves all the glory!

So, I have a little “Glory Story” to share with you. It seems so small right now against the backdrop of my friend’s pain, but even a little kiss from my Father is a delight and regardless of my circumstances He is always worthy to be praised.

Last week, the day after I wrote the last post, which happened to be on prayer, my 8 year old daughter was practicing her new songs for piano. The first day of practice is always the most difficult because she has to struggle through learning the hand position and notes, etc. and she can sometimes get quite frustrated. I had left the house to run an errand when I got a phone call from 8 year old telling me how frustrated she was with a new song that was more difficult. Being a practical woman, I suggested that she practice hands separately today (like she’s done in the past) just to get it down and put them together tomorrow. She seemed satisfied to try that and got off the phone to get to work.

As I continued driving to my destination the whole matter of prayer came back into my mind, which is a good thing since I am studying it right now. And I thought, “Why did I just offer her advice and not pray with her too? Isn’t this an opportunity to point her to the Father for her needs?” So I called her back and asked her if we could pray about her difficult new song before she starts practicing it again. We prayed for Jesus to give her the strength to persevere in difficulty and we prayed that she would practice her song “to the glory of God” (I Corinthians 10:31). Then she happily got off the phone and went to work, and I reached my destination.

The great part is that on my return trip home I received a phone call from my 8 year old. She said, “Mommy I went and practiced the song after we prayed and I did it with BOTH hands and I did it right!” She was so excited that she was bubbling over! We started saying things like, “Thank You, Jesus!” and “Wooo Hooo! Our God is awesome!” and just reveled in the fact that our God is so loving that He cares that a little girl needs help practicing a piano song. Even better, as the mama of that little girl, is the blessing of seeing my daughter go to her heavenly Father and seeing her experience real relationship with Him. I pray that every day things like that will keep her going to Him and keep her in real relationship with Him. So, I got two kisses for the price of one in that. One, He spoke to my heart in answering my request to help my little girl, and two, seeing my daughter revel in God’s work in her! Woo Hoo! Thank You, Jesus!!!!!

So, will you share your “Glory Story” with us? It’s all for His glory!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

You Can Pray Very Simply

So, on Wednesday evening I began a new study on prayer with some women at church.  My friend, Vanessa, who wrote the article, "Coffee Meditations" that I posted on here a week ago, wrote and is teaching this study on prayer.  Even the introduction night was great with the scripture she pulled out and had us read and discuss.  (Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 9:14-27, Luke 7:1-10, and Luke7:11-17)  She asked us to read and discuss the following questions:

1. Who was praying?
2. What do they say in their prayer?
3. Why?
4. What is the answer to the prayer?
5. This interaction says something about God's character.  What did we learn from this prayer and its answer?

I think for me the most profound passage was Luke 7:11-17.  This one seems to not have anyone praying, yet Jesus' "heart went out to her" and He performs a miracle.  Why that is profound to me is that it is a reminder that He knows our hearts and loves us and will speak to the longings of our hearts; answer unspoken/unspeakable requests of the heart. 

Vanessa talked about all the books and lists and methods of praying that are available, but like me, she is advocating simply going to God as we are, where we are, without methodology.  It was good to hear her talk about that and even better to read about it in Scripture, because I sometimes wonder if our circumstances wouldn't be better if I knew how to pray better.  I'm so glad that God just meets me where I am.  I'm so glad that having a relationship with Him and seeking His face are more important to Him than me being able to get this prayer thing "right". 

So, when I did the first day's homework and we were reading the "Lord's Prayer" from Matthew 6, I decided to read from my new parallel Bible (NASB & Message).  When I read the Message version I was releived and heartened at the smiplicity.  I post it here for you to read:

Matthew 6:5-13  (MSG)
"And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

(I don't read the Message exclusively.  Actually, it's the last place I usually go, but I am finding that sometimes it breaks it down (the language, that is) into such simpler terms that it gives me a new perspective.)

To those of you who are taking the study with me on Wednesday nights, I'd love to read what you are learning and have you comment on this blog.  To those who didn't start with us on Wednesday night, but would like to join us there is room and you can still jump in.  And if you don't have time to join us for the study, but have something to share on prayer, we'd love to read your comments too.
Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

I Can't Get It Right! Duh!

Did you ever try to do the right thing and find that it was actually the thing that was tripping you up? Do you know what I mean? Like I desire to be a good servant of the Most High God and to be a “good mom,” so I have memorized the LOVE VERSES from I Corinthians 13, and I have required my children to learn them too. When we have a conflict in the family, we often go to these verses to ask ourselves where we are wrong and what we should be doing instead. So wise. So pious.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But honestly, some days I am so discouraged by these verses! EVERY DAY I fail at this list. EVERY DAY I blow it on several accounts. So, maybe I can be patient and kind one day, but then I find that I am keeping a record of wrong, envying, easily angered, or I lose hope. Actually, I have lost hope often…so it’s a lot easier to just go to the part I “need” for parenting in the moment. But I don’t go to these verses for comfort or with any kind of joy. It’s the opposite, really. I feel like such a loser when I line myself up with these verses, so I avoid them!

But they are always there, in the back of my mind. Lately, God’s been showing me how wrong my ideas about Him have been. Maybe it’s this grace thing. He’s been opening my eyes to His grace for over a year now, and recently He’s been talking to me about l-o-v-e. But I told Him I don’t know how much I like these verses. (Well, that was really poor grammar, and a deceptive way a saying what I really think.)

The truth:  “See, God, I don’t like these verses because I can never measure up. I try really hard, even really leaning on your strength, but I can never get them. Never get them all right. Lots of days I don’t know if I get any of them, really, in my heart. Look pretty good on the outside, but you know my heart.”

So, you know what He said to me? “Go look at them again.”

And I’m thinking, “I know, I’ve heard good Bible teachers say, ‘Now put your name in there every time it says ‘love.’ That’s part of the problem, God, I am NOT these things.  I told You I try, but I fail.”

But instead, patiently, He said, “Don’t put your name in there, put MY Name in there every time it says ‘love’. I AM LOVE.”

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Jesus is patient,

Jesus is kind.

Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast,

Jesus is not proud.

Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self seeking,

Jesus is not easily angered,

Jesus keeps no record of wrongs.

Jesus does not delight in evil

but Jesus rejoices with the truth.

Jesus always protects, Jesus always trusts,

Jesus always hopes,

Jesus always perseveres.

Jesus never fails.

WOW! Perspective shift! A multitude of scripture and songs running through my mind, but the theme of them all…Jesus IS love. Jesus has done it all! It’s all about Him, not me or my striving.

John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Sole Deo Gloria!

WPS

Cleaning Out The Closets

I am reviewing what I have already read and learned from the study on Simplicity and am back in chapter 3 today, “The World Is Too Much With Us.” These are some of my reflections from the first time I read this chapter with some new thoughts that I had today as I re-read it.  And if you have any tips on cleaning out real or metaphorical closets, we would love to read them!  Just post a comment.  FYI, all comments are moderated by me and will not appear until I have time to read them and post them.  I just want to keep the discussion here in line with the Word, and since the blog is accessible to the general public I moderate all comments.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey


Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I have been thinking about be content versus being complacent. I think sometimes I allow myself to continue on in a pattern because, frankly, it’s easier. I tell myself that I am just being content so that I’ll feel better about NOT doing the work it may require of me to live in the freedom that the Lord is offering me.

Colossians 1:29 says, “To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me.” Jerry Bridges says, “In pursuit of his ministry Paul said he labored even to struggling… the Greek word translated as ‘labor’ in the NIV is ‘a strong word, denoting toil to the point of weariness or exhaustion.’ The word struggling in Greek is the word agonizomai, from which we get our word agonize, and conveys the idea of an athlete straining to win the race.’”

The words labor, struggling, weariness, exhaustion, and agonize are not words I’m naturally drawn to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sluggard, I’m not afraid to work, but this sounds like a LOT of really hard work! I know that I have avoided dealing with certain issues in my life because when I did start “digging into” them the difficulty of the work and the sheer volume of the work seemed overwhelming. You know, things like bitterness over the way someone has treated me unfairly, or fear of one of my health issues coming back, or working on my own behavior rather than my children’s.

I don’t know about you, but for me it would be more rewarding to repaint my living room wall than to sort through and clean out all the closets in my house. Why? Well, even though painting the wall is a lot of work, I could have the living room wall done in one day and all the furniture back in place AND when you come to my house, you will notice what I have been working on and you may even think that I am a hard worker. For that matter, even my husband would notice it! (wink) And the reward for me is feeling good about myself because I got a “hard” project done in one day, there is external change in my home and others say complementary things to me.

The sad thing is that my closets really need to be cleaned out and no one, probably not even my husband, is going to notice. And IF he does notice, he’s not going to give me the same level of accolades that he would if I painted the living room. The other thing is, cleaning out the closets is a lot more work than painting the living room. I MIGHT be able to get the closests cleaned out in one day, but then I have MORE WORK to do once I clean them out! I have to have my children try on clothes and make piles of what to keep in the closet, what to store for next season and for the little sister, and what to give away or sell (even more work having a yard sale or learning to sell it on ebay, etc.). And probably the thing I hate the most is having to deal with the stuff while we are sorting through it and deciding what should stay and what should go. Then it’s out in the open and I can see it all and it’s messy, and this project is going to take more than a week and I don’t want to have to work on a project that hard for that long! (somebody call the whaaaambulance!)

Cleaning out closets sounds a lot like cleaning things up in my heart. God is ready to do it, but I’m often not. I don’t want to have to dig through the stuff in my heart and mind that I’ve been storing up. It’s going to be so much work, and maybe even painful! I’m going to have to look at what I’ve been hiding and holding on to. I might even have to get rid of things that have been bringing me false comfort and false security. I know that if I decide to do it, the reward is that I will have real comfort and real security from my Father, but this project isn’t going to be wrapped up in one day. I’m going to have stuff to deal with for as long as it takes to align my priorities and desires with His. I guess another issues is that I am overwhelmed by the amount of work it is gong to take because I naturally think about doing things in my own strength instead of His. Do I really trust Him for His strength? Until I do, the job will be overwhelming.

I realize now that God had called me several years ago to start laying down some things that I was doing (easy to see things like painting walls or serving in areas that are sure to be noticed by others) because they were distractions keeping me from the hard work of self discipline that I needed to develop in order to get rid of some of the lies, wounds and bondage of the enemy that I couldn’t get control over in my own strength. I needed to focus on Him and then He did the work in me, of learning to be content. Really it was agonizing at points, and sometimes for very long periods of time (not to discourage you, but some things took months and even years, but maybe I'm just stubborn or slow). It was hard work to start giving up worry and control and to trust Him to do the things that I cannot do.

Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

The result I can expect when I respond in prayer is His peace which is more wonderful than the human mind can understand. How? Instead of worrying about how I am going to get through this I PRAY! Pray what? I have learned to be honest about what I am feeling and what I need.  I have learned to NOT put on any pretense. I tell the Lord when I amangry, scared, depressed, etc. and then tell Him why and ask Him to take my burden.   I ask Him to show me what to do or how to rest in a time of working through an issue (cleaning out a closet). It can be hard work, but take heart that He does not leave us to do it by ourselves; “His peace will guard your hearts and minds…”

So, if you really believe He is able and is going to see you through, what do you need to start cleaning on today? I’m heading for my closet!

What's In Your Freezer?

“Our Lord did not teach detachment from other things: He taught attachment to Himself. Jesus was not a recluse. He did not cut Himself off from society, He was amazingly in and out among the ordinary things of life; but He was disconnected fundamentally from it all. He was not aloof, but He lived in another world.”

Oswald Chambers

Matthew 6:19-34
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,”

If I stop and reflect right here at the end of the first phrase of this passage, this is a concept so contrary to the thinking of the world, of myself, of just about anyone I know. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,” yet if I go look in ANY cupboard, closet or drawer in my house, I find collections of things. I understand that I need to have food stocked in my pantry and freezer to be prepared and to make the best use of my time so that I don’t have to go to the store as frequently, and some things I buy on sale to be wise steward, but sometimes even that gets out of control.

I’ve noticed it more since my husband has been laid off, that I’m always trying to make sure we have enough food. It actually didn’t occur to me until I came home from the store one day and was putting meat into the freezer that I had bought on sale and could barely fit it all in there with all of the other things I already had in the freezer. Right then I realized that I was trying to take care of all our needs regarding our food. That doesn’t sound so bad, except that He says, “And my God will supply all your needs. According to His glorious riches” (Philippians 4:19). And when I looked in my freezer and saw all that we had in there, I realized how abundantly He has been providing. So, I made a little deal with myself not to buy any more meat until I had used up all of the meat we had in the freezer and see how that went. Not that we ate meat every day, but we have eaten well every day, and I went more than a month without needing to buy any meat.

I actually think I’d like to do something similar to that, but include my children and husband in on it. I would like to challenge us to not buy anything except fresh fruit and veggies until we empty out the freezer completely, and see how creative we can be to use what He has already given us. I actually, think it will be kind of fun to see what we do and what God does. I’m going to present the idea to the family at dinner tonight.  I'll keep you posted on what we do:)

Also, I've been thinking that I need to sell some stuff on ebay; stuff that is just extra clutter in our lives.  I figure that I should try to sell it on ebay and see if I can make some money since we aren't making enough to cover our bare minimum  expenses right now while my husband is growing his new business.  Do any of you who have sold on ebay have any advice or help to offer me?  I sold one thing on ebay 3 years ago and had a bad experience, so I am fearful of doing this.  Being fearful of doing this is another reason why I need to do it. 

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

Titus 3:3-7
Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. But then God our Savior showed us His kindness and love. He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. He declared us not guilty because of His great kindness. And now we know that we will inherit eternal life. These things I have told you are all true. I want you to insist on them so that everyone who trusts in God will be careful to do good deeds all the time. These things are good and beneficial for everyone.

So, what insights do I gain about the basis of God’s acceptance of me through the above verses? I am so grateful for the itty bitty piece of His love that I can understand, and I am in awe to realize that His love and pursuit of me is so far beyond what I can understand. I think the lyrics of the song “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” describe how I feel:

How Deep The Father’s Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Sole Deo Gloria!
WPS

p.s.  Selah does an awesome job singing this song!  I'm sure you can find it on youtube.  Someday I'll learn how to post stuff like that right onto this blog.