To God Be The Glory,
WP Stacey
Stephanie's Story
This past year and a half has been one of the most difficult times of my life. My husband and I are foster parents and for those of you that have been or are foster parents, need I say more? It has been a calling; most of our family and friends think we’re crazy, but I tell them that God has asked us to do this and how can we argue with Him?
I’m going to back up a little by letting you know that on April 8, 2008, I surprised my husband by planning to renew our wedding vows, this time with a twist. See, we had already been married THREE times; the first time, we eloped and were married by the Justice of the Peace on April 8, 1988. The second time, we were married at St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic Church with family and friends present, white dress and all, on June 1, 1991. And the third time, my husband surprised me for our 10th anniversary and took me to Las Vegas, where we renewed our vows at the Little White Wedding Chapel. For our FOURTH “wedding” on April 8, 2008, our good friend, Pastor Phil Kruis from Rincon Mountain Presbyterian Church, officiated our renewal of vows. This time, we made a Marriage Covenant, which was appropriate this time around, since we were “born again” in October 2002. We have our Marriage Covenant Certificate hanging in our family room (as a reminder) and this is what it says:
“We Believe God created marriage to be holy, to exemplify the glorious, eternal marriage between His Son Jesus Christ and His Church.
We Believe Our marriage is sacred and a lifelong covenant.
We Believe God calls us to pursue unconditional love for each other as modeled by His promise never to leave or forsake us.
Therefore, We, the undersigned, pledge to fulfill our marriage vows and pursue oneness.
We further pledge to bring glory to God through our sacred permanent marriage and by calling others to fulfill their marriage vows.
We agree to joyfully receive each other as God’s perfect gift; to have and to hold from this day forward;
For better or for worse; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love, honor, cherish and protect one another;
Forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, so help us God.”
I give you this background because I believe that if we had not had Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage, we might not have made it through this past year and a half as one.
I cannot go into details about the two foster boys we had in our home; I can only tell you that they had been through A LOT before they came into our home. We had taken an 11 month break after the previous children we had in our home (they had been with us for 11 months). Near the end of October, 2008, we were feeling like we were finally ready to take more children into our home. We began praying that God would bring the children into our home that He wanted us to care for. The VERY NEXT DAY, we received a phone call from the Christian agency that we’re licensed through. The worker told me everything she knew about these boys. Immediately my heart went out to them, but I was terrified. My husband and I prayed about it and decided that God wanted us to take these boys into our home; we felt that over the years, He had been preparing us to take in these particular boys.
To make a VERY long story short, it was an exhausting, mentally trying, physically trying, but marriage strengthening year and a half for my husband and me. There were weak times and during those times, Satan tried to attack us. This past December, I began having panic attacks and experienced my first ever bout with depression. I would be freezing and could never get warm, I was tired all the time, I did not want to get out of bed and I didn’t want to see or talk to any of our friends. My husband was a rock for me. We had to fight SO hard for these boys; for their schooling, their mental health needs, and their rights in general, as well as spiritual warfare, as we were giving them a foundation in Christ and their biological mother was not 100% supportive of that.
We built a relationship with their biological mother, which was not easy. During the process of “reunification” of these boys with their mother, our confidence in “the system” was diminished. I made it through, with lots of prayer, but found that I came out of this whole experience different, and not in a way that I wanted to be. I became a very pessimistic person and I have never been that kind of person before. The boys are now living with their biological mom, after I have been their “mom” for a year and a half (which holds its own heartache for me).
Even though our business has not been doing well for the past 2 and a half years, God has allowed us to get away this summer. We are up in the Colorado Rocky Mountains for two months; my husband, my 16 year old son, my 7 year old son and me. I have dubbed this trip “The Roberts Family Retreat”. As our trip began two weeks ago, I began praying reverently for God to change my heart and help me to not think so negatively. I decided that I was going to begin reading 1 John (don’t ask me why) and as I when I went to open my Bible, the Lord took me to 1 Peter. I thought to myself, “Okay, Lord, if that’s where you want me to begin…” Over the next several days, here are some of the things I read that have helped me tremendously:
“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1-3
“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do no fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-17
I need to trust in the Lord and rely on Him more than I have been doing. My Heavenly Father knows just what I need.
With love,
WP Stephanie
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