Beauty For Ashes

Dear Warrior Princess Sister,

Today I am just full of the joy of the LORD!  Having moved past my grief, I have been free to count my blessings and enjoy where the LORD has us right now.  I even did a silly thing yesterday.  No, I mean, really silly totally out of character for me.  Wanna hear what I did? 

We were listening to KLOVE and they said that if you went to Chik-fil-A dressed as a cow you could get a free combo meal.  They said that you could even download a "cow costume" from the Chik-fil-A website.  It sounded so funny to me to go in dressed like a cow, so I asked my 13 year old and her best friend if they wanted to go do it, thinking that they'd think it would be really funny to see me do that.  Well, the best friend thought it was a fun idea, but my duaghter did not.  When she finally agreed to go with us, we cut out the paper cow costumes from the website and taped them to our clothes and glasses (I especially liked the sign that said,  "Eat More Chikin") and went down to Chik-fil-A and put Morgan in her wheelchair and went in looking totally goofy.  So Samiyah and I got free combo meals and I had to pay for Morgan's, but it was fun.  I didn't give Morgan a hard time for not doing the cow thing, so maybe she'll learn to loosen up a little next time, and the three of us did have a fun time.  It was really cute seeing whole families dressed like cows too:)

So now to today's story.  I think I'm calling today's post Beauty for Ashes because the result of sharing my ugly thoughts was a lot of beautiful encouragement from many of you Warrior Princesses.  Thank you, again!  A new Warrior Princess, Patti, gave me permission to share a piece of her life story with you.  I've only just heard her story in the last week and am amazed that she has only been a believer for a few years.  Her words of wisdom seem to have many more years of following Christ behind them.  To give you a very brief background to help make sense of her story, she and her daughter had to move out of their house and into a small apartment last week due to some financial changes in their life.  So, without any more of my ramblings, here's Patti's story...

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

A Word From Warrior Princess Patti

I did read your wonderful and insightful thoughts about “regret.” That has been an amazing part of my life as well in soooo many ways! In my limited studies of scripture and studies with Beth Moore as my “guide,” I have come away feeling as if my messed up choices can be used to help those around me in some way. How God will use these “life experiences” to build His Kingdom is not completely understood yet. Indeed the greatest study I have experienced was the one of Esther. Providence is GIGANTIC! God will use us, but the question is will we allow HIM to use us and go through the fire (Daniel) with HIM or without HIM.


I too find it interesting that regret is linked to lamenting.  I agree it is grief.  I know I have grieved and still struggle with it. At times the enemy has had me regretting divorce, marriage, life, etc.  But I KNOW that the truth is I can allow God to use me in all of this.  I’ll be honest, the other day I found my daughter, Sabrina, crying in her room (again) and asked her what was going on.  She has been simply filled with emotion.  Mind you, I am pretty much exhausted and have lost empathy/patience for my girls on too many occasions; trust me when I say I am disappointed in myself!!  Anyhow, we sat on her bed and I was hugging her and urging her to talk to me about what was going on (I never know if it is emotions from hormone/menstrual stuff, friendship pains or what!). Finally, she says “I miss our house.” She “boo-hooed” for a few minutes and then I lost it. I was so upset I was crying! I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand what she wanted and frankly it seemed rather ridiculous to me. After all, look around us. Please, we are not suffering! Well, we got through all that…I calmed down, tried to listen to her, encouraged her to speak from her heart and realized much later that day that she didn’t have the words to express how or why she felt the way she did. BUT she did say she “regretted” things/choices. Now, I won’t bore you with the 15 year old’s definition of regret, but I can tell you where my heart is in all this.

I am 46 years old, college educated, worked in a field for 18 years, have twin teen daughters, survived a very unhealthy childhood, marriage and divorce and now live in a 2 bedroom apartment. As the girls and I laughed today…our kitchen, while indeed lovely, is in fact a kitchen, office area, and laundry room! Hmmmmmm. My regrets are gone…God has prepared me and will use me. Some of my choices have been close to deadly and indeed down right humiliating.  I am happy that I have allowed God to literally pull my heart out of my chest, dust it off, re-shape it and place it back inside filled with His love (painful indeed).  Life is different now for me and the girls, but I am committed to be a Kingdom Builder in anyway He wants to use me.  I can only assume that this new “location” is a part of the plan. I pray I bring Him honor and that I actually listen to HIM.

I am reminded of Esther once again; she has to make a choice to do the unthinkable in order to save her people …confront King Xerxes to defend her people. She says, “If I perish, I perish.” I love these words….from a woman nonetheless! God used her life, her connections, her knowledge, her heart (all from HIM) and she allowed Him to work through her to save her people! His people! Praise Jesus! May I be a little more like Esther every day!!!

So my prayer for us all…stay clear of regret that drags you down, yet allow yourself to embrace the grief of the loss, the change, the mistake…but then celebrate with God how He will use all of it for His Kingdom!

WP Patti

p.s.  For those WPS readers who are here in Tucson, our church is doing the Esther study Patti talked about starting in September.  I am even more excited to get to do it now that I've read what Patti had to say about it!  And the cool thing is that I had already planned on having Morgan do it with me.  So if there are any other mother daughters, or friends out there who want to join us, come on out!  I'll be leading one of the small groups on Wednesday nights (it is also being offered on Tuesday mornings).