What Is Regret?

Regret is a word heavy on my heart today. It is a word that has been coming up often, so I figured I needed to look into and see what the Lord wanted to say to me about it. My first step was to look it up in Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary. I am intentionally going to digress here.

Why the Webster’s 1828 Dictionary? Did you know that Noah Webster was a committed Christian and that he wrote that dictionary as a result of a direct call from God to do so? Today’s dictionaries, even the ones bearing his name, are a very watered down version of the original meanings of the words. If you want a well searched out definition of a word, I highly recommend this dictionary (this dictionary even includes scripture, though it is lacking in modern words relating to technolgical advancements since that time).  It’s a lot more expensive than the paperback ones you can buy everywhere, but it is so worth the investment!  Back to the topic:

So, what was the original meaning of the word?
 
Regret, n.

1. Grief; sorrow; pain of mind. We feel regret at the loss of friends, regret for our own misfortunes, or  for the misfortunes of others. 
2. Pain of conscience; remorse; as a passionate regret at sin. 
3. Dislike; aversion. [Not proper nor in use.]  

Regret, v.t.

          1. To grieve at; to lament; to be sorry for; to repent.

          2. To be uneasy at. [Not proper nor in use.]

So, why am I pondering regret? Well, yesterday we drove by our first house, the one Kraig and I lived in for 11 years. I really liked that house! We had a lot of great memories in that house including bringing both of our babies home there. But the other thing that happened there was that we remodeled that house ourselves, together. It was hard work, but it was fun too. It wasn’t a big house, but it was bigger than the one we currently live in, and it was a place where our gift for hospitality thrived. I miss that freedom and the room to have lots of people over! So, last night I was filled with regret (grief, sorrow, pain of mind) over ever moving out of that house.

I pondered how much better it would have been for my daughters to have had the stability of having grown up in that one house. Instead we are currently living in the fourth house of their young lives. While I am grateful for this house, it is not a house that we are “at home” in. It doesn’t fit our gift of hospitality. It is not an open place to my soul like that first house was. I have regret.

When we came home from the fireworks last night I was quite grieved over this and just had to get out and walk the dog and think. I kept pondering regret. I thought of a line from a movie I once saw. The daughter asked her mother if she ever had any regrets about decisions she had made (because this daughter was very much regretting some of her decisions), and the mother answered, “No, I don’t have regrets because even my mistakes have made me who I am, and I wouldn’t be who I am if I had made different decisions.”

That statement may or may not be true. Is it wise to regret and then use that to help you make wiser decisions from this point forward? Or is it better to be content and just say that even those mistakes are making me what God wants me to be?

I was surprised when I read the verb tense of the word regret - to grieve at; to lament; to be sorry for; to repent. The verb form of regret goes right along with what I am learning about sorrow and lamenting. I feel like that is what I am doing and maybe this line from the movie that has been playing in my head for the past few years has no truth in it. You see, I have felt like there is something wrong with me that I do regret that decision (and others like it), and that I’m pretty sure that God could’ve taught me what he wanted to even if I hadn’t made those poor choices. I think of stories in the Bible of lives that would’ve been different if only they had made a different choice. I think about how some of them used that as a lesson to spur them on to seek the Lord before moving forward in their new circumstances.

I realize that I am fighting to demolish a stronghold of the enemy here. I am praying for wisdom as to how He, my Savior, wants me to see this and set me free from this trap.

For though we live in the world,
we do not wage war as the world does.

The weapons we fight with are
not the weapons of the world.

On the contrary, they have divine power
to demolish strongholds.

We demolish arguments
and every pretension

that sets itself up against
the knowledge of God,

and we take captive
every thought to make it
obedient to Christ.

II Corinthians 10:3-5

 I am asking you, my Warrior Princess sisters, if you have struggled with this or if you have any insight to give me? I would so appreciate your prayers regarding the LORD revealing what He wants me to know about this. The good news is that I have hope! Just knowing that regret is grief and lamenting, maybe that’s all I need to know and just allow myself to grieve the loss.

So, if you have any scripture or a personal story that might help me have some insight into this, please post it as a comment or email me. I would so love to hear the wisdom that God has imparted to you on this matter.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey