Remembering Our Adoption Story - Part III

I finally had time to finish writing our adoption story.  I love remembering this story, but this is the first time I've ever written it out.  I learned so much by writing it out.  Two ladies have sent me stories of remembering things that the Lord has done for them.  I am excited to post them on here, but I wanted to finish this story first so I didn't leave you hanging too long.  I would love to hear more stories of remembering where God has moved in your life.  Even if you decide not to have me post your story here, I highly recommend remembering and writing down the places the Lord has already met you.  This has been a powerful experience for me and I believe you will see things you haven't before if you take the time to write or type it out.

Part III

I now resume my story. It was still the same afternoon that we had been in to see our case worker and talk to the birth mom on the phone, and I was telling the Lord that if He really didn’t want us in this match, that He was going to have to shut the door. I picked up the phone and called a friend to tell my story to and get her opinion. No answer. I called three friends and nobody was home! I thought, “Well, who am I going to talk to now?” And it was as if the Lord said, “Why don’t you talk to Me about it?”

Seriously, why was I seeking human counsel instead of going to my Father?  Well, because I didn't want to do it His way.  It seemed too hard.  I was scared and sad, so I told Him so. I told Him that I didn’t want to give up this chance to be a mom, to have a baby. I also knew that He was telling me to just trust Him. Just do what I already knew I needed to do…call Marti and tell her the truth, that God had been very clear that this was not the match for us. I wanted to justify not doing it because it might hurt this birth mom. She might think that we thought there was something wrong with her or her baby and it might make her feel bad. The Lord told me that was an excuse and that He would take care of this dear lady and it wasn’t my job to figure that part out. I just needed to obey.

Trust in the LORD

with all your heart;

do not depend on

your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

This was the most difficult thing I had ever done (up to that point in my life), so before I could chicken out, I picked up the phone and called Marti and told her that, in spite of my desire to stay in this match and how badly I want to be a mom, I knew that the Lord was telling me that we were not supposed to be in this match. I cried as I told her, but the Lord is so good. She said, “I have been feeling the same way. I felt like the Lord was telling me that this was not the match for you.” I told her that I was worried for the birth mom that it was going to be hard on her that we were backing out, but Marti said that she would talk to her and felt like it would be fine. She told me that she would put our letter back in the “book” that birth parents look at to choose the adoptive couple they want to place their baby with. She said she would also call the Phoenix office and let them know to put us back in the book in their office too.

I got off the phone and just cried until I couldn’t cry any more. Then I called my husband at work and told him what I had done, and I cried some more. He was very understanding and said that he trusted that if that was what the Lord was telling me then that was our answer. Then I just lay on the floor because I just didn’t have the energy to move. A little while later the phone rang. I thought it was one of the friends that I had called earlier calling me back. But it was Marti.  It had been about an hour since I had talked to her.

“Stacey, you are not going to believe what I’m going to tell you. I called up to the Phoenix office to tell them to put your letter back in the book because you were no longer in a match, and they said that they’ve had a birth mother waiting for a whole week to see if you were going to stay in the match you were in. Apparently, they had forgotten to remove your letter from their book when you entered into this last match. A birth mom had gone through the ENTIRE book, and said that you were the family that she wanted. When she was told that you were in a match, she said she’d wait. She has been waiting for a whole week! Do you know how incredible this is?”

I was speechless! What if I hadn’t listened? Oh, Lord, I am so sorry that I was so stubborn! Then Marti told me who to call at the Phoenix office to set up a visit with this birth mom. In less than a week, we met our daugther’s birth mother and birth aunt. We all connected right away and developed a very good relationship with our daughter’s birth family. We really came to love them and are so thankful that we got to know them.

I have to tell you the clincher though…Remember in Part I when I said that we decided to open our hearts to the idea of an open adoption and we began praying for our baby’s birth mother? That was almost exactly nine months before our daughter was born! I know it may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it is huge to me. God put it on our hearts to begin praying over our baby and her birth mother almost from the moment of her conception!

I told this story to my daughter the first time when she was about four years old, and her first response was, “Mommy, I’m so glad you obeyed!” I am too!

"What is more pleasing to the LORD:

your burnt offerings and sacrifices

or your obedience

to His voice?

Obedience

is far better

than sacrifice.

Listening to Him

is much better than

offering the fat of rams.

I Samuel 15:22

Sole Deo Gloria,

WP Stacey

p.s. I continued to pray for the other birth mother after we backed out of the match. I found out later that she ended up deciding to parent instead of placing her baby for adoption.